Proposed Strategy for Fighting Pirates: USMC

It’s Day 3 of one man’s plea for the country that he loves to go out and fight pirates.  They’re out there just waiting to be run through or made to walk a plank and we sit idly by.

Yesterday the British announced they would be putting together a European armada - an armada for God’s sake – to defeat the pirates in the Gulf of Aden.  When was the last time you heard the word ‘armada’ used?  Reading some 18th or 19th century history?  Watching Master and Commander on DVD?  This is some cool stuff and we’re on the sidelines : (

Q:  Another issue. What is the U.S. going to do about the Somali pirates? And has the President been briefed about the situation? Is unilateral or a concerted effort planned?

MS. PERINO: The President has been briefed about it, and ensuring the safety and well being of the crew is of paramount importance in preventing or dealing with issues of piracy. We’re working with other members of the Security Council right now to see if there are actions that we can do to more effectively fight against piracy and prevent it.

It’s a very complicated issue. There’s a lot of international laws that factor into these efforts. One of the things that’s clear is that piracy is something that is affecting a lot more — many more waters than any of us would have known about. I mean, if you look at some of the charts that have come out, that piracy is not something that just happened back in the 1500s. This has been going on for a while. The problem is now that it’s much more dangerous and they have a lot more weapons that they’re using. And the goal would be to try to help get this ship to safety, secure the crew, and then work with our international partners to try to alleviate the piracy problem full stop.

“There’s a lot of international laws that factor into these efforts,” said Perino.  Are you crazy?  There’s one supreme law on the high seas: No Freaking Pirates!  Unbelieveable.

I saw a commercial for the U.S. Marine Corps the other day, and guess what?  They’ve got swords.  And, guess what a pirate’s weapon of choice is?  The sword.  Need I say more?  I’m calling on W to immediately gather as many leathernecks and swords as possible and ship them to the pirates’ lair.  One thing that would be extra cool and send a strong statement to the rest of the world – and potential would-be pirates – is if we actually parachuted them in.  It’s a known fact that most pirates prefer to enter battle by swinging from ropes from one ship to another.  Can you imagine if about 500 enraged, sword-wielding U.S. Marines started dropping from the sky – without ropes – onto one of the remaining pirate motherships?  I guarantee they would shit down their wooden legs.

WTF? 21st Century Pirates – Opportunity for Bush or Obama

Ahoy!

There be pirates about the seven seas and they are the real deal.

A couple of months ago I remember a story about pirates taking control of a Ukranian ship laden with arms.  It seemed silly that there are pirates capable of doing such things in the 21st century – and getting away with it – and I didn’t write about it. 

In the last two days however there have been more spectacular pirate attacks.  The Sirius Star, a 1000 foot-long oil supertanker carrying $100 million worth of Saudi crude oil lies at anchor off the Somali coast after being hijacked.  There are reports that the pirates are negotiating with U.K.-based lawyers on a ransom.  A Hong Kong-flagged cargo ship was seized by pirates off the coast of Yemen this morning.  It’s carrying thousands of tons of wheat to Iran.

The problem is Somalia.  The country has been without a legitimate government since 1991.  It’s essentially lawless.  A review of news reports shows most contemporary pirates are considered to be Somali.  The problem is also the governments and businesses who own the ships.  I was pretty surprised to find out that it is de rigeur to negotiate with pirates and essentially pay ransoms to secure the crews and cargoes taken. It pays to be a Somali pirate.

Political Opportunity?

If you think about it, it’s just ridiculous in 2008, with all of the resources, large navies and technology in the world that we have pirates.  Aaargh!

The opportunity for George W. Bush is apparent.  He is the black and white thinking president of modern times.  This pirate stuff is just that: good versus evil – black and white.  Bush is unpopular at home and abroad.  What a great way for him to go out than by declaring a war on pirates!  This one would actually be a winner.  We’re not pissing on anyone’s sovereignty, we’re going after those who are already doing that.  And, what could be a more true-blue American move than to rid the world of an evil menace.

I think if Bush captures or kills pirates on his way out, he moves the old legacy bar up a notch.  This shouldn’t be a hard sell for the president.  Pirates bad!

How about the Obama play?  If Bush demurs, there’s still a winner – the next president. 

Can you imagine the political and public relations capital Barack Obama will gain with the public and media if he goes after pirates?  Obama hasn’t taken his first steps as president and the media have already annointed him Franklin Delano Obama.  Can you imagine if this guy goes out and kicks some pirate ass?  The sky’s the limit for him then.

Somebody needs to do something about these pirates.  The whole notion of pirates who are so well resourced, trained, and lawyered up that they can ransom a supertanker is just incongruous with a civil world society.